Sunday column: I'm not yelling, this is how I talk

There are plenty of ways to categorize people: young, old; fat, skinny; outgoing, shy; neat, messy. You get the idea.
It recently occurred to me that there is another, very telling, way to separate the people you meet at any given time: loud and not loud.
You may think that there are plenty of people who don't fall into either category, but this is not the case. It may take time, but eventually you will find that a person is either loud or not loud. There really is no in-between.
I am a loud person. I realize this about myself, and I accept it. I'm OK with being loud and I don't particularly want to change that about myself. Not all loud people feel this way, though, which I think is a shame.
Maybe the reason I'm so comfortable with my loudness is because I grew up in a very loud family. My dad is Italian, so high volume and explosive outbursts are to be expected. My mom's side, which doesn't boast a stereotypical loud lineage, also has two levels: loud and louder.
As you can see, I come by it honestly.
Our family home was always humming at varying levels of loud. There was the everyday loud, which consisted of yells of "Mom!" ringing throughout the house, someone talking in an eardrum-bursting high pitch to one of the many pets and music blasting from a stereo.
Then, there was mega-loud, which happened anytime someone did something — either good or bad — out of the ordinary. This includes birthdays, holidays, arguments, exciting purchases, a friend coming over … that type of thing.
Clearly, it doesn't take much for us to turn up the volume.
Now, some people don't think that being loud is an endearing quality. I can't understand why, but there are people who simply do not feel the need to raise their voice.
How you can get though life without yelling, squealing, cheering or otherwise being loud is beyond me. But apparently, it happens.
Fortunately, I've always surrounded myself with fellow loud people. This wasn't a conscious decision on my part, but it has worked out nicely.
My best friend and her family are another group that embraces their loudness, which could be one of the reasons we've always gotten along so swimmingly.
Both of us absolutely hate for someone to tell us, "Calm down." Those two simple words are guaranteed to make us even more excited, usually not in a good way.
I think that most loud people are built differently from not loud people. Our sense of volume is skewed, and there are times when we honestly don't think we're being loud.
I can't count the number of times I've been talking with someone when they'll interrupt me to say, "Emily you are really being loud." Usually, it's in an inappropriate place, such as in the middle of a class or when a couple is exchanging vows during their wedding or something. The thing is, I thought I was whispering. Oops.
Here's what happens when a loud person such as myself marries a not loud person: The not loud spouse says the phrase, "Why are you yelling?" as much, if not more, than he or she says, "I love you."
It's something both people will just have to get used to.
I try to monitor my volume, really I do. But it's just so unnatural for me to lower my voice.
To all the not loud people out there, I ask you to not look down on emotional, over-the-top people like me. What we have to say is just as legitimate as what you have to say — we just want to make sure everyone can hear us.